I’m convinced that one of the saddest things in the world is having something be personally important to you, but not having it recognized or respected by those whom are closest to your heart.

I do not say this in a spirit of complaint, but of awareness: while we have felt the sadness and twinge of shame that comes from being told our loves and desires are silly, do we realize when we do it to others? It is my conviction that if we want to be loved, cherished, validated, then we must make an effort to listen to the hearts of others (who themselves wish for the same).

I find it hard. Sometimes, I think I’m considerate – but most of the time, I feel slapped by my own lack of attention to the needs of others. While I may not register on the radar as a bad person, I find this personally unacceptable: I want to be more aware. Conversely, I do not wish to drive myself to unnecessary frustration with the constant feeling of guilt, or excessively unrealistic expectations. Regardless, I believe that I can do better.

Because if other human beings aren’t worth it, then, pray tell: what is?

by Patricia Lynn Reilly

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories. Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the past’s influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf. Who refuses to surrender except to her truest and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body’s rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her precious life energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

The sunlight is perfect, and I do feel rested – one or two worries, but I’m going to let them go, because yesterday it was proven to me that letting go works.

Now, I’ll just have to remember!

When it feels like my dreams are so far -

sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again…

Driving home from work tonight, I thought about how far away becoming a doctor sometimes feels to me; how at times I feel so limited by circumstance & frustrated by the pace. Something was different, though – I didn’t get down on myself about it, I just contemplated the observation as if it were calmly sitting in the passengers seat.

Later, I received an update from Invisible Children and wandered through – it’s all it took to bring me back to the whole reason I’m doing any of this at all. I can’t wait to meet and treat human beings all over the world, and even if it’s one person that God decided to put me through this experience and training for – it’s all worth it. I’d do it over again, every tear shed and fit of insecurity… all of it, because God would do this for just one of his kids to know His care.

That’s how much He loves us.

My roommate threw a lunch for her tennis teammates at the apartment and I just went down to meet them – each of them hails from a different state or country and the mixture of accents is melodic. I think it’s pretty wonderful how lovely people seem to attract lovely people – as is the case with my roommate. I know how good I have it.

In other news, it’s anatomy saturday – muscles and genetics, here I come!

What am I doing? Not sleeping.

Frustration = need to make something of this time, since I’m not enjoying some much-needed rest. What did I decide to do? Fix my RSS subscription issue. Let it be known that I love Google, but I am not a fan of their reader. I do not like the layout, I do not like how the feeds come up, I do not like the visual clutter. Enter my new favorite Mac app: RSSOwl (also available for Linux and Windows)

It’s lovely to look at, and so organized! I may have a sleep-dep headache, but I have a smile on my face that RSSOwl helped put there via OCD-High.

Now, if it could only double as a sleep-aid…

It’s pretty beautiful out – something about a rainy Sunday feels so right! As if you’re being given permission to quietly go about your day at a pace of your choosing.

Last night, I started the first craft project for the Autumn RVA class:

(before promptly falling asleep, lol)

Take THAT!